Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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