Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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