Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.

(208): View more from Idaho

ha well at least you have goals.

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(757): View more from Virginia

If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...

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(201): View more from New Jersey

The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!

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(903): View more from Texas

We talked him into tasing himself.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN

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(615): View more from Tennessee

The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.

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(690): View more from

And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.

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