I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
