This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
