At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
