Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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