i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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