That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
