Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
