How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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