I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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