So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize