I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
