so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
one might say we're banned from that church
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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