what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
