your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
