Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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