Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
