Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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