did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
