Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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