id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
