Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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