his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
