I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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