I need help removing her.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
