He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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