so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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