ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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