we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
