Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
