me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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