Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
