3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Alive.
So much puke
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
