chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
