That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
