I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
