Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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