Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm sobbing to NWA
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
