you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
