I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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