u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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