i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
