My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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