Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
