i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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