Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
