What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
no you cant smoke seaweed
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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