I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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