I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
