Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
