try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
