I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize