This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
