it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
