i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My bed smells like the plague
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