During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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