Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
