I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize