On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
