walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
