i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
